...of sane ramblings!

...is listening to Rumi speak to her of emptiness... When you are with everyone but me, you're with no one. When you are with no one but me, you're with everyone. Instead of being so bound up with everyone, be everyone. When you become that many, you're nothing. Empty...

...is dabbling in forgiveness - as C.R. Strahan says "Forgiveness has nothing to do with absolving a criminal of his crime. It has everything to do with relieving oneself of the burden of being a victim--letting go of the pain and transforming oneself from victim to survivor.”

...I am a saint and I am a sinner...we move in and out of darkness and light through out our lives; the fact that I have understood and accepted this gives me enough faith that eventually I will be all light...regardless of how dark I may be as of today...

...has Hakim Sanai's words resontating in her being...The true core of truth goes beyond the terminology of ‘How’ and ‘Why’.... and then to have Rumi reiterate it as...

As salt resolved in the ocean
I was swallowed in God’s sea,
Past faith, past unbelieving,
Past doubt, past certainty.

Suddenly in my bosom
A star shone clear and bright;
All the suns of heaven
Vanished in that star’s light.

...may we all vanish and may we all find our cores!

...is letting Rumi help her find her zen. As Rumi says... 
There is a way between voice and presence...
Where information flows.
In discipline silence it opens...
With wandering talk it closes.

...is watching and counting souls...quite a few came, some lingered, others left and a few returned... a few new ones will join the ranks only to be recounted again...

...is enroute to imploding via her intuition which is the beacon that navigates her through the treacherous karmic waters...

...physically I'm pickled in zukaam, fever, sinus, cough and sneezing!! Emotionally I'm stewing in thoughts!!

...is mesmerized by how life turns into those story books where you choose the page you want to go to next....and you think wow I created this story only to realize it was all written well ahead of your time...all you had to do was let the story choose you....

...when confronted with a totally new view of myself and my purpose in life...I am pushed to take a leap of faith into the unknown, which can feel like annihilation. But then as Rumi says, what is there to be afraid of...

Don't be afraid of nonbeing.
If you want to be afraid,
fear the existence you have now.
Your hopes for the future,
your memories of the past,
what you call yourself,
are nothing.
So nothing is being taken from nothing, and
a nothing is being absorbed by a Nothing.